Good Morning, Idiot

Good morning, idiot
You slept in your clothes again
You made a plan at midnight
and you knew you wouldn't keep it

You rehearsed a conversation
with a man who's never met you
You won it. Obviously.
Congratulations, champion

Good morning, idiot
Get up, you've got things to do
Nobody's coming to carry you
and nobody ever did
Good morning, idiot
I'm the only one who's stuck with you
so let's go

You said you'd learn the guitar
That was in two thousand and nine
It's leaning on the wall
like a witness for the prosecution

You apologised to a chair
You said sorry to a chair
You looked around to check
and then you did it again

Good morning, idiot
Get up, you've got things to do
Nobody's coming to carry you
and nobody ever did
Good morning, idiot
I'm the only one who's stuck with you
so let's go

And listen — for the record —
you were decent yesterday
You let that woman go ahead of you
and you didn't tell a soul
I noticed
I always notice

Good morning, idiot
Get up, you've got things to do
Nobody's coming to carry you
except the fool in the mirror
Good morning, idiot
I'd pick you again, God help me
Let's go

Let's go, let's go
Comb your hair, at least